Change is generally a good thing. I resist some changes: If it’s working why change? My life is working for me. There would be no major do-overs there. There are at least a million little things I would change. Tiny things that would not shift my direction or hamper any important life lesson that brought me to where I am this day.
When I was twelve, I started working at a café that was a couple blocks from our home. I washed dishes. I wouldn’t change that as I learned much about handling money and relating to people in the work place. I did start drinking coffee while working there. The owners charged employees for drinks except for water and coffee. The water tasted bad, so I drank coffee when I got thirsty. I believe there was never an incident that happened or didn’t happen because I drank coffee, I would change that.
When I was fourteen, I started smoking. Since I cannot remember a incident where smoking or not smoking had impacted my direction or path in life, I would change that as well. Quitting is so much easier when one never starts.
I wouldn’t change meeting my first husband. The marriage was not a good one but I learned so many life skills while attempting to deal with his bad behavior that I could not change that without changing who I am.
Seems that the worst times, the bad relationships, and the hardest mistakes are the ones I need to keep the same. We don’t learn valuable lessons from easy living. I know a woman who floats through her life wondering aloud, sometimes too loud, why bad things keep happening to her. I said to her only once, “Because you allow them to happen.”
Her response was: “What would you have me do? I can’t change the world?”
I said, “You have to change yourself.”
“Right,” she grumped at me. “The world is f—d up, so I need to change.” There was a lot of sarcasm there, but sadly, she never understood that the world that was messed up was her inner world…her attitude. She hasn’t changed it yet, and likely won’t. Life is a lesson, if one does not accept the bad and learn from it, they will keep making the same mistakes. We don’t learn from the good things in life; don’t look back at the bad with regret, look at it with the positive lessons you’ve learned clear in your mind.